![]() Click on the “ Ad-Blocking” button at the bottom.Click the Ghostery icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.Switch off the toggle to turn it from “ Enabled on this site” to “ Disabled on this site”.Click the AdBlocker Ultimate icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.“ Block ads on – This website” switch off the toggle to turn it from blue to gray.Click the AdBlock Plus icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.Under “ Pause on this site” click “ Always”.Click the AdBlock icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.They shoot you for being a jerk, you sterilize the wound with tomato vodka.Adblock Adblock Plus Adblocker Ultimate Ghostery uBlock Origin Others They ask for a screwdriver, you make it with tomato vodka. They ask you for a vodka martini, you make it with tomato vodka. What are you going to use it in, beyond a Bloody Mary? This is a vodka infusion that exists almost entirely to trick your friends. Tomato vodka again sounds great in theory, but, well, it’s booze that tastes like tomatoes. Maybe Bakon Vodka came into existence to justify this bad idea, from Three Olives. So your vodka has a plant full of a poison that attacks the one organ a drinker really needs up and running. Oh, and just to add to the stupid, it attacks…drumroll please…the liver. It’s been banned across the world as a food additive. Bison grass contains lots and lots of coumarin, which is the main ingredient in some rat poisons. Secondly, bison grass has a small problem in that it’s full of poison. If horses start drinking martinis, well, then we need to stop dropping so much acid. The idea is that by adding a tincture of bison grass to the vodka, you get the smell, and presumably the flavor, of fresh-mown hay.įirst of all, we question the idea of hay-flavored vodka. How’d the English start brewing vodka anyway, did they leave a batch of beer in the vat too long or something?īison grass is, well, grass. If they have to flavor it like it’s tasting like bubble gum, then maybe they should trade up. Adding “super” doesn’t make something good.Īpparently, Three Olives is English vodka, which they gloat about importing as if the English were known for their vodka. That’s like E! shows calling themselves “super new”. You already know you’re in trouble when a vodka brand describes itself as “seriously fun” and “super-premium”. Everything else is just rendered kind of disgusting we don’t drink screwdrivers because they taste like breakfast. This seems like an absolutely awesome idea until you stop and realize that there is precisely one, count it, one drink that would benefit from this flavor, and that’s a bloody mary. Which your author, looming above you because he gets paid to write about cartoons and toys, is totally better than.Īnyway, somebody actually took this joke seriously and infused vodka with a bacon flavor. The joke is “everything is better with bacon.” So people wrap turkeys in bacon, cover bacon with chocolate, wear t-shirts that look like bacon, and in short generally make themselves look like thirteen year olds with no self control. ![]() Oh, also, if the double espresso isn’t bitter enough for you, some company out there makes a triple espresso.īacon is trendy right now. Why does this even exist? Who drinks this? Who makes a drink with this? Why not just put vodka in coffee? You’d get the same effect. Seriously, this is like making “bitter tasting vodka”. Instead we’re left with the utter bafflement of a coffee-flavored vodka, where anything pleasant about the coffee flavor is removed. The Italians have their own kind of alcoholic jet fuel, and they’d never waste a good espresso on this. Espresso/Double Espresso from Van Goghįirst things first, we know no Italian made this, which is probably why this brand is named after an insane French painter. It’s easy to make, incredibly popular, and in what way does that excuse any of these ridiculous flavors?ġ. We get it about vodka it’s basically the closest you get to pure alcohol before you start getting into drinks that are less liquor and more fuel for small engines or paint solvents.
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